Suicidal thoughts
by Stay-Away
Summary: Cindy, who can't handle life anymore, will decide what to do after Jimmy does a few things to hurt her feelings. ... And for those of you who are still confused I use to be 'Jimmy's 1 fan' then 'Death is my cousin' and now I'm 'stayaway'.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone I'm back! Well thisfic is based on one of my friends poems. Anyways I had this idea in my head for about for about a few min. now so I decided to write this fic. Oh I'm also going to write about their lives in 2nd person. R&R! OR ELSE!

Disclaimer: Sorry I don't own JN … but I'm making a plan.

Hello everyone, for those of you who don't know me my name is, Cindy Aurora Vortex. I'm a freshman now, and I'm kind of an emo person… but there is still one thing about me that has not changed over these past few years, my love for James Isaac Neutron. I talk to him every once in a while; but he is no longer the whippy-dipped head anymore he's tall, 5'8" to be exact and he's also a goth, with those same blue eyes. I talk to him every once in awhile but he ignores me and pretends I'm not there so I get mad at him and leave. After school I go up to my room and it's very different now it's gone to girly from emo, I put my book bag on the bed next to me and I take out a razor from my dresser, and cut myself. Yes the pain I felt was good because no longer would I live, and no one would care, but whenever someone interrupts me like my mom, dad, or Libby I would get a piece of clothing and wrap it around my wrist and pull down my sleeve. Then I would go see what they wanted my mom would just ask about school and boys, my dad would call me for dinner and Libby would just gossip with me. Libby has also changed she is a punk rocker and is not afraid to express herself with others and she could give a care about what people think about her and Sheen is also punk, on the other hand Carl, I don't know anything about him anymore because he moved.

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Well that's it for chapter 1 remember I'm gonna do this in 2nd person so the next chapter will be about Jimmy okay. Later oh before I forget this is my last story then I'm gonna retire, but not forever, I will still be R&R for people. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again and remember this is the last chapter that I do in 2nd person.And also remeber that this fic is based on a poem that my friend made, that friend has moved faraway and so have I. Well enjoy the story and remember R&R and thank you for reading!**

Disclaimer: Sigh if I did own JN I would be one of the happiest girls on the planet and by now Jimmy and Cindy would be going out!

Thank you to all the reviewers: Stardust104, Acosta Perez Jose Ramiro, Badwolf1, Greendayfan99, XxDoCxX

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Hello my name is James Isaac Neutron, and I'm 15 years old I attend Retroville high school. I have also changed these past few years of my life, you see I'm a Goth now, and I don't really care about what people think about me. Well except from Cindy, you see after these years I still love her and I only care what she thinks about me, and right now I think that she thinks I'm a big jerk, because every time she tries to start a conversation with me I ignore her. It kills me when I try to answer her back, my mouth won't open and that's why she gets mad and walks away. When ever I try to ask her out I stutter and she'll get upset and tell me to hurry up because I'm wasting her time, then I'll say 'You know what Vortex I'll take my fucking time' and then she'll walk away angrily and give me the finger. I'd yell after her and she'd slap me across the face and tell me to leave her alone and I'd tell her I didn't mean it. She'd just shake her head in disbelief and she'd leave me alone in the hallway. How I desire those luscious lips, her perfect form; of course she wears baggy clothes but we have the same period P.E. and she'd were a two piece, God she'd look so hot in it, but I'd hold my urges. Well enough about her before I start to getting to much into her, Carl one of my best friends moved away and he has told me that he has a girlfriend called Linda, and they both love lamas so I guess that he's happy. Sheen another of my friends is not obsessed with Ultra Lord any more, but he is obsessed with Libby and both of them have turned into punk rockers. We still talk and hangout with each other and have fun like the old times,but wedon't really go on adventures anymore.

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**Well that's the end for chapter 2. I hope you liked it and the next chap. won't be like this okay.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey I don't have all the time in the world to update. I went to my workshop for school and it's okay but I still didn't start school almost, but not yet. So just read and review. I know it's short but deal with it.**

**Thanks to all the reviewers: **Acosta Perez Jose Ramiro, XxD.O.C.xX, Dcity, Greendayfan99, Emerald.t.3.a.r.z, Badwolf, Miss.FLY AWAY342

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"It's finally Friday, now I can give you this invitation to my party."

"Thanks Libby," Libby handed Cindy the invitation and Sheen came over.

"Hey baby how've you been?" Said the 17 year old punk rocker to his girlfriend, and she kissed him, when Libby pulled away she gave him an invitation to her party.

"Thanks Libbs,"

"Your welcome."

"So Cindy how have you been?"

"Okay, I guess, you?"

"Same here, do you know where Jimmy is?"

"You know that I don't really pay attention to him right?"

"Yeah but I was just curious is all, plus I do need to raise my grades up." Then Jimmy walks up behind Cindy and greets them all. Once he is done he is finished Cindy walks away with Libby and Jimmy gets a little curious.

"Hey Cin what's up,"

"I don't feel like talking to you at all today, so just leave me alone." She said in a harsh voice.

"Listen I'm sorry that I ignored you for the forty-seventh time but I was a little occupied at that time."

"Sure of course you were,"

"Listen Cin why don't I make it up to you, how about I take you to the Candy bar after school today."

"Depends, what time."

"How about right after school?"

"Fine I'll give it a shot." Then Libby pulled out an invitation to her party and gave it to Jimmy.

"Thanks, Libby."

"No problem."

"Okay so I'll be expecting you at the Candy bar." And with those final words he was gone.

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**Okay that's the end of this chap. Sorry about not updating soon but like I said I'm a very busy person so don't get to upset. NOW REVIEW and you'll get an entire truck of cookies:P oh and I do accept flames.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to all the reviewers: **miss.FLY AWAY342, acosta perez jose ramiro, Emerald.t.3.a.r.z, badwolf1, XxDoCxX

**Disclaimer: **No own Jimmy Neutron

Right after school Cindy left to the Candy bar and found Jimmy sitting at a booth. She took the seat facing him, and they started talking.

"Nerdtron, could we please hurry, I don't want to miss out on Libby's party." Cindy said that with a frown and waited for Jimmy to answer, while he took his time to answer.

"Sure, I don't want to miss it either," He said with a smile.

"Okay now you told me to meet you here, because you wanted to make it up to me, so I'm waiting." She was starting to get annoyed and Jimmy knew that, so he decided to apologize quickly.

"Cindy, like I said before I'm sorry for ignoring you, so I want to … well you know, hey how about we go to Libby's party?" He said quickly changing the subject.

"Fine, you just brought me here to waste my time," She said angrily. "I could've been with my best friend right now!" She started leaving but Jimmy grabbed her arm and pulled her outside the bar.

"Don't you **dare, **ever say that again! I came here to apologize to you nicely and you stab my back!" Jimmy was enraged. "This is why I sometimes think that we can never be friends." Jimmy hurt Cindy by his last comment, but she did not show it.

"Well you changed the subject," She was annoyed now more than usual. "You told me to come here for a reason I thought okay it won't hurt." She calmed down a little now. "And you wasted my time like I don't have to go somewhere tonight."

"Your right Cin I'm sorry I mean it." His rage towards Cindy had stopped and decided that she had a good reason to be mad.

"Its fine, now can we please just go to Libby's party?" She asked nicely.

"Sure, but I didn't bring the hover car so were going to have to go walking." He said with a half smile half frown.

"Fine, let's go before it gets any later." Cindy disappointed, by walking wanted to go in Jimmy's hover car.

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Cindy rang Libby's doorbell and Jimmy stood behind her. Libby opened the door and greeted Cindy with a hug, and Libby told Jimmy and Cindy to come in and have fun, when they went in, they found many unexpected people.

"Libby, you told me that there was only going to be we knew." Cindy said a little disappointed.

"I know but word got out, besides the bigger the party the better." Libby exclaimed happily. While they were chatting, Jimmy found Sheen and they started a conversation.

"So Jimmy how'd she take the apology?" Sheen said that with an odd tone in his voice.

"Well if you must know I tried to do it nicely but once again, we got into one of our famous arguments." Jimmy sighed at the end of his sentence.

"Ha-ha," Laughed Sheen.

"I don't see what's so funny," Said Jimmy.

"It's because every time you try to apologize it always backfires." Sheen had a huge smile on his face but before Jimmy could even complement his sentence, Libby shouted 'It's time for spin the bottle everybody come here and make a huge circle', and followed Libby's orders.

"Okay everybody knows the rules right?" Libby asked.

"Uh-hu" Everyone shouted. Then Libby handed the bottle to Sheen and he spun the bottle and when the bottle finished spinning, it landed on Libby and he said "Truth or Dare,"

"Dare," Libby, exclaimed.

"Fine I dare you to kiss me on the lips with everybody watching!" Sheen said daringly. She gave him a crooked and kissed him passionately. When they finished kissing Sheen was in a daze and Libby could not help but smile. Then Libby got the bottle and spun it then the bottle landed on Jimmy.

"Truth or Dare?" She gave a small smile at him.

"I choose Truth," He said smartly

"Do you like no wait, love, Cindy Vortex?" Everyone was waiting for Jimmy's response.

"I love Cindy, of course not." He said a little shaky. With that response, Cindy was deeply hurt, and she could feel her heart break into millions of tiny pieces, she wanted to leave the room but stayed there. Then Jimmy took the bottle and spun it.

**Well that's it for now say tuned for the next chapter of 'Suicidal Thoughts'**

**-Death is my cousin **


	5. Chapter 5

**Well here I am with the next chapter for you people, remember it is my friends' poem but in story version. And Michaela if your reading this I miss you a lot :'( and I made new friends over here in Brawley… uhh… if you guys are still reading this I'll stop now so you can continue reading.**

**Disclaimer: No own Jimmy Neutron**

**Thanks the reviewers I really appreciate it: acosta perez jose ramiro, Stardust104, miss. FLYAWAY342, XxDoCxX, retoville9**

The rest of the night went by and everyone was having a good time. The next morning when Cindy woke up, she noticed the house was clean, not dirty. Libby had told them to clean it up before everyone left. The only ones still asleep were Jimmy, Nick, and Butch everyone else had woken up and left. However, where were Libby and Sheen, so Cindy went up the stairs and opened Libby's door to find them together in bed. She closed the door discussed and left home thinking on her bed.

**Xx flashback xX**

"**_I love Cindy, of course not." _At that moment, Cindy wanted to go home and kill herself but instead she sat there as 'good you better not like me' look on her face. Until the party was over, and everyone went to sleep except, Libby and Sheen who were somewhere else.**

**Xx End flashback xX**

It was a Saturday morning, Cindy had a whole day to herself, and she decided to go to the new gothic bar. When she got there, she ordered a Bloody Mary and it was a strawberry smoothie, and she decided to drink it slowly. She saw everyone having a good time and she decided it was time to leave. So she decided to call Libby.

"Hello," Libby answered.

"Hey Libby, so who was your night with Sheen?" Cindy asked curiously.

"What do you mean?" Libby was pretending not knowing what Cindy was talking about but Libby knew she was smarter than that.

"Libby, you know I'm not an idiot, I went to your room this morning and saw you two in your bed." Cindy said smartly.

"Okay I admit it, but it wasn't my fault!" Libby said defensively.

"Then how did it happen?" Cindy asked out of curiosity.

"Okay I told Sheen to bring me a drink, and he did but it was alcohol, and I got drunk. Then the last thing I remember was me dragging him up to my room." Libby sounded honest like an angel.

"Do you at least remember using protection?" Cindy asked.

"I'm not sure, I just hope we did." Libby was getting concerned now.

"Well I guess I'll let you go know I'm going to take a bath." Cindy said tiredly.

"Sure no problem, so I'll so you on Monday?" Libby asked making sure.

"Yeah," Cindy said tiredly.

"Okay then, bye." And Libby hung up.

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It was Sunday morning at 11:30 and Cindy woke up rather more depressed than usual. She wanted to know what was troubling so much, but she thought she already knew the answer, Jimmy it was he. So she decided she was not going to do anything special today, instead she was just going to stay home and watch tv and movies.

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Monday morning she got up, did her daily routine, and got ready for school. Once she got there, she saw Libby talking to Sheen and they were discussing what had happened on Friday night.

"Sheen do you remember us using protection?" Libby said worried

"Yeah, I do," Sheen, said smiling, and he looked at Libby and she knew that she was serious and he stopped messing around.

"We did." He said smiling

"Thanks," Libby said relived of getting pregnant.

"Hey no problem, well I'm going to go now, see you later." He kissed his girlfriend goodbye, and left. Then Cindy came up and asked if she did use protection and was relived with a good answer.

**I know it was short but I'm just going to keep on writing small chapters until you guys start to get really mad at me for writing this short. I'll update soon … maybe I'm not sure. Stay tuned for 'suicidal thoughts'. I am in a good mood so I will tell you a little bit about the next chapter. Cindy's heart cannot take it anymore and decides her fate between love or a blade.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone I'm back! Guess what happened to me, I got ran over by a car!!! And that is why I haven't been alble to update. Well any way's here's the next chapter for you guys and just read and review this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Jimmy Neutron isn't mine.**

**Thanks to all the reviewers, I really appreciate it: WereWolve'sGang, Philip the Great, cindyvortexrocks, Crazy-Punk-Rocker, retroville9, snowboarder9, acosta perez jose ramiro, Greendayfan99, I'll-hold-you-close, and the other person who was too lazy to log in.**

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Shortly after the bell rung and Cindy had to go to her first period class. When she went through the door she saw a note sitting on her desk next to a beautiful rose. When she took her seat she picked up the note and saw who it was from '_Nick_'. It didn't matter to her there was only one person that would make her feel happy right now and his name was James Isaac Neutron.

Cindy didn't even bother reading it, she just threw it away in the trash. She was hurt by her one, and only love. Jimmy was also getting tired of all the lies Libby was telling him. When he would ask where Cindy was she'd just say '_I haven't seen her all day'_ or _'she already left home'_. It was killing him since he couldn't apologize to her. And whenever Cindy would walk around a corner, and saw Jimmy, she would always turn away and walk the other direction, she couldn't face him, not now.

When school was over she would just run to her house, not stopping to catch her breath. She didn't care nobody did, she felt like she was all alone in the world, with no one to talk to, no one to share her feelings with. When she reached her house she would go strait up her room, not even bothering to say hello to her parents. She'd just lock herself up there, time moving without her, she would fall asleep thinking to herself about how would things really be if Jimmy did say he loved her.

Back a Jimmy's house, Jimmy was also starting to wonder about Cindy, why he hasn't seen her. So he just fell asleep and he had a dream about Cindy, about their life. Jimmy was a happy married man, with a lovely wife of course. Jimmy and Cindy were one of the happiest couples in Retoville, they had a nice house, and two kids who always go along. Then Jimmy woke up, he sighed at how much he wished it would come true but, there was no way it would happen.

When Jimmy got to school he would walk by Sheen, Libby and a few other of his friends, he'd say a friendly hello while they ignored him. He didn't understand why they did this to him, but one day it snapped in his head.

They were ignoring him for what he did to Cindy, although Jimmy did want to apologize and say how much he loved her he couldn't, he hasn't seen her.

One day Cindy came from school more depressed than usual, she also found a note that her parents had left for a short vacation. At that point Cindy just walked up to her room and sat down thinking for a long time. She turned on the TV at six and saw that there was a storm coming and then, for no odd reason she went to her room and was breaking down. She cradled herself and thought that no one loved her, her parents, her friends, all of these things were just illusions to her. She thought about it for two hours and then made a decision, she was going to end it all tonight, no doubt about it. She go a razor and slowly brought down the little razor to her left wrist and applied pressure to make sure it was deep, then she repeated her actions with the right wrist. She waited patiently about twenty minutes have passed and she started felling dizzy and light headed, she was surrounded by blood.

She new she had a few minutes left of life, so she called the one person that mattered the most to her.

"Hello," answered Jimmy.

"Hey Jimmy," Cindy's voice was fading and raspy like a ghost.

"Cindy, what's wrong you sound like a…" Jimmy started but was cut off by Cindy saying something, something bad.

"Jimmy, I've always wanted to tell you this, and now that I'm about to die there's no point hiding it now, but I love you, I always have ever since the fifth grade." after those words Cindy hung up the phone and fainted.

"Cindy, Cindy?!?!" Jimmy was panicking. So he ran over to her house, it was raining like crazy but Jimmy didn't care he wanted to find out what she meant when she said _'I'm about to die'_.

It felt like a(n) eternity running across the street to her house, when he finally got there he tried opening the door but it was bugged. So he broke the door and ran up to Cindy's room. When he found her he wanted to die, this was pain that he never felt. She was lying on the floor next to her bed; he knelt beside her and cheeked if she had a pulse but no luck, he knew it was too late, he just picked her up and placed her on her bed.

"Cindy," he began. "You will never know how much I really did love you and I didn't get to tell you. I'm sorry, I'm such an idiot, I didn't tell you the truth just because a stupid game! I love you Cindy, I always have and always will, in life and in death. Listen to me, I'm crazy I'm talking to a dead person, she can't here me. It doesn't matter Cindy please forgive me for all the pain, all the trouble, and sadness I put you in, so I shall join you in death to repay you." Jimmy had no regrets for what he was about to do to himself.

He gave her a kiss on the lips, which were still warm, went down stairs and found what he was looking for in Cindy's parents' room, a gun. He quickly went back to Cindy and looked at her, he started to cry and placed one last kiss on her, but he didn't pull apart from her. Instead he pulled the trigger on his head kissing her and once he did, his hand fell and it looked like he was hugging and kissing her.TWO WEEKS LATER…

The priest was on the alter, and said "We will never forget Cynthia Vortex and James Neutron, you were great friends, and family, to us all."

Everyone was wearing black Libby and Sheen still couldn't believe what had happened.

"Libby where do you think the dead go when they die?" asked Sheen.

"I'm not sure Sheen, I'm not sure." Libby was sad and upset for what Cindy had done to herself.

"But I'm sure that where ever they are, there're in a better place and happy." Carl stated out. Carl was so close to Jimmy that he came to his funeral and was sad to find out what had happened to his good friend.

"But I knew that this was going to happen someday." said Carl sadly.

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**Well I made this the last chapter because I know that I'm horrible at updateing. Well I'm now Officially retired, But not forever I'll come out of retiremetn soon.**


	7. Authors Note

**Hello everyone no this isn't another chapter or anything like that it's just to inform you all that I might make a short sequel to why Carl was at the funeral. And thanks for all the reviews that I got !!! I really enjoyed them a bunch!!!**


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